The Game Of Life
by A.C.P
Summary: Each of the G-boys have two "free kills" if you will. The results are bloody, gory, and completely unnessary. (Warning: Yaoi w/ 2x4)


Scene: Duo and Wufei are sitting quietly in a small gameroom playing a game of chess. Heero is  
banging on the vending maching for depriving him of his Baby Ruth(Best damn candy bar  
ever!) Quatre is standing on his head, and Trowa is watering plants.  
  
Quatre: Lookit me! lookit me! I'm on my head!  
  
Duo: DAMMIT, BLONDIE! SHUT UP!!! Hmmmmm... HA! Check!  
  
Wufei: Hmmm.... Ah! Jump, jump, jump, jump. King me!  
  
Duo: King me?! What are you playing?!  
  
Wufei: Ummm.... Perfection?  
  
*Duo slaps his forehead*: That's it. I'm invoking the author's given privlage.  
  
Heero: Hold on! We only get two this entire fic! Save 'em.  
  
Duo: Don't tell me what to do with my kills! I'll do whatever the hell I want!  
  
Duo raises a gun to Wufei's head as he tries to catch his own finger  
  
Duo: Please be smarter when you come back to life!  
  
Blows a large hole in Wufei's head. Wufei's eyes roll to the back of his head and he falls back  
in his chair  
  
Duo: Now. He'll be up and about in around twenty minutes.  
  
Heero: I'm getting a feeling you're gonna regret that.  
  
Quatre: LOOKIT ME!!! FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! LOOKIT ME!!!  
  
Trowa: That's it...  
  
Lifts a broadsword out of a tree and heads towards Quatre  
  
Quatre: ummm....What'cha doing?.....  
  
Trowa: ..This.  
  
Trowa sucessfully lops Quatre in two pieces. He falls to the floor  
  
Trowa: Dead and done.  
  
Duo: Well done, lad.  
  
Heero: You guys are gonna regret that... I can feel it.  
  
Duo and Trowa look at each other and smile evilly  
  
Heero: Wait!! Wait! You guys weren't told about th...  
  
Duo and Trowa wrestle Heero to the ground and Duo rips his lungs out  
  
Trowa: That'll shut 'im up.  
  
Duo: Boy, this fic sure is gory, isn't it?  
  
A.C.P: Jolt'll do that to ya.  
  
Duo: I would have to agree.  
  
Trowa: Now what are we gonna do for the next fifteen minutes?  
  
Duo: I'd recommend cleaning our blood-stained clothes.  
  
Trowa: Good plan.  
  
Duo and Trowa smile  
  
A.C.P: Hey! HEY!!!! Different rooms, you two! I'm not THAT out of it!  
  
Trowa and Duo: Damn!  
  
A.C.P: HEY! No lip from you two!  
  
Trowa and Duo grumble and walk to two different rooms  
  
A.C.P: Damn straight!  
  
Time passes and Wufei and Quatre walk into the room  
  
Quatre: Where's the other three?  
  
Wufei: Take a shine on the monkey bananna!  
  
Quatre: Oh man... Sally's gonna be pissed about this. You really messed up on the revefication!  
  
A.C.P: Quiet, you!  
  
Wufei: Milking wolves is only for the mediacally inclined.  
  
Quatre: Duo's gonna be pissed too.  
  
Wufei: WUFEI!!! WUFEI!!!  
  
Duo walks out of the left room with fresh cloths on  
  
Duo: Oh. You're back. How's Wufei?  
  
Quatre: I think you took something permanent.  
  
Wufei: Ilp bing doob flin gan poop. POOP!!!!  
  
Duo: Oh no... Well, here I go again!  
  
A.C.P: Wait! No! You've alre...  
  
*BLAMMO!*  
  
Wufei has little of his face left and he falls backwards again. A large amount of the blood hit  
Quatre's spiffy vest  
  
Quatre: Oh man... why'd you hafta do that?  
  
Duo: I couldn't have ever handled that.  
  
A.C.P: YOU FREAKING RETARD!!!  
  
Duo: AHHHH!! What?!  
  
A.C.P: You didn't have any kills left!  
  
Duo does that wierd eye expansion that happens on Tenchi  
  
Duo: Whoops....  
  
Quatre: Oh, Sally's REALLY gonna be pissed off now.  
  
Duo: Oh boy...  
  
Trowa runs out of the room... without his pants  
  
Quatre: GOOD LORD!!!!!!  
  
A.C.P: GOD DAMMIT!! GET BACK IN THERE AND PUT YOUR FREAKING PANTS ON!!!!  
  
Trowa: Whoops... be right back.  
  
Runs back in  
  
Duo's foaming at the mouth  
  
A.C.P: HEY! None of that now!  
  
Duo wipes his mouth  
  
A.C.P: Better.  
  
Duo: Well, I wonder when Heero'll come back?  
  
Quatre: .... I wouldn't know.... I was dead.  
  
Duo: Oh yeah. So, what's that like?  
  
Quatre: A lot like Flordia.  
  
Duo: BAM!!! You hear that Trowa?!  
  
Trowa exits his room  
  
Trowa: Hear what?  
  
Duo: Death was more like Flordia than Arkansas!  
  
Trowa: Damn... Here... Hands Duo ten dollars  
  
Duo: Thank you. Pockets it  
  
Quatre: hm. how'd you kill Heero?  
  
Duo: I ripped his lungs out.  
  
Quatre: Wow. This fic is really bloody.  
  
Trowa: Yeah, it is.  
  
Heero walks in  
  
Quatre: Hey.  
  
Heero: Hey. You've all used up your kills?  
  
Quatre: Trowa's got one more and I've still got two.  
  
Heero: Come over here for a minute.  
  
Quatre and Heero walk over to the corner and talk in hushed whispers  
  
Duo: ????  
  
Trowa: Man, I'm feeling really vengeful.  
  
Duo: Why?  
  
Trowa: *Whisper, whisper*  
  
Duo: Oh! hehe. The author'll leave eventually.  
  
A.C.P: Excuse me?  
  
Trowa: Nothing...  
  
A.C.P: What did I tell you about that? Not even to be mentioned in frone of me. I'm sorry, but  
I'll have to take your remaning kill.  
  
Trowa: Damn!  
  
Quatre: Ha, Ha!  
  
Trowa: QUIET, you!  
  
A.C.P: Hmm... do you two want to end the game?  
  
Heero and Quatre: Yes!  
  
A.C.P: Very well. You each get two wishes plus how many times you died.  
  
Duo and Trowa: WHAT?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?  
  
Heero: DHA-HA!!!  
  
Quatre: I wish that I had a mansion with tons of rooms!!!  
  
A.C.P: ....Done. It's waiting for you in the place of your desire.  
  
Quatre: I also want Dorothy there and to be in love with me completely!  
  
A.C.P: Wow, I saw that one coming.  
  
Quatre: ANNNNNNNNNNNND... *whisper, whisper*  
  
A.C.P: Ah! Well done, lad!  
  
Quatre: ALL RIGHT!  
  
A.C.P: Your wishes have all been granted. Would you like teleprtation to your mansion?  
  
Quatre: Hell yeah!  
  
A.C.P: Use that last wish well.  
  
Quatre: Don't worry 'bout that!  
  
A.C.P: Hope she'll enjoy it as well.  
  
Quatre: Hehehehehe... Teleports away  
  
A.C.P: Now Heero, you're turn.  
  
Heero: ......Hmmmmmmm.... I haven't figured out what I want...  
  
A.C.P: You've got a lot of time.  
  
Duo: THAT'S NOT FAIR!!! WE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT!!!  
  
A.C.P: Heero tried to tell you about it. You weren't listening, though.  
  
Trowa: It's just because you are predujiced against homosexuals!  
  
A.C.P: Please. I'm not prejudiced. I just find it kinda icky. All that splorching and stuff. Eww.  
  
Duo: Oh, shut your hole.  
  
A.C.P: You first.  
  
Heero: Ooooohhhhhh. Burn.  
  
Duo: YOU be quiet!  
  
A.C.P: Well, have you made your decision?  
  
Heero glances at Duo and Trowa  
  
Heero: Give my wishes to them.  
  
Duo: What?  
  
Trowa: What?  
  
A.C.P: What?  
  
Heero: Yeah. They'd be able ot use them a lot better than me.  
  
Trowa: No... you don't have to....  
  
Heero: Okay. Then I'll take what Quatre got, except replace Dorothy with Relena.  
  
A.C.P: Relena *Shudder* Well, alright. Teleport?  
  
Heero: Yup.  
  
A.C.P: Gotcha  
  
Heero dissapears  
  
Trowa: What was that last one?  
  
A.C.P: *Whisper, whisper*  
  
Trowa: Oh Pffffft. that's all? I'm at least one and a half inches more than that.  
  
Duo: It's true.  
  
A.C.P: Eww, eww, EWW!!!  
  
Authors note: I am off of my high while I'm writing this note. I can't help but submit this. If  
anyone wishes to make flamers, I would wholeheartedly agree. I don't like flamers, but, hey. In  
addition to that, I picked the gay couple flipping coins so shut your trap! 


End file.
